Kibkom North Cyprus Forum

I am seriously thinking of bailing out the forum.

I think it is becoming overly moderated.

Posts are being closed ad hoc because they don't fit in with a particular mods personal opinions.

Just let it flow guys, and when it gets abusive and a bit distasteful by all means shut it down.

I was on a post earlier that was going to be a potential hoot-but it got shut down-WHY??

Please don't get all 1984 on us regular posters.

I realise a little bit of power does go to some peoples heads.

If the mods just want it to be non controversial-then why run a forum in the first place?-I put a thread earlier about bonfires which resulted in (as far as I can work out) two posters getting barred.
Whats that all about?
Just chill out please.

Philoz: I hve come back this once purely to stop the mods from being blamed for something they didnt do . In respect of the bonfire thread, I asked them to delete a post because it threatened my privacy, which they did promptly and I am grateful to them. People were speculating without data which doesnt help anyone, and your original question had been answered so rightly they closed the thread.

As far as I know no on-one was banned.

I am no longer posting here because there was an attack on me personally, which I have since realised arose from a dispute outside the Board. I could not respond fully without breaching the rules of the Board ,and involving others. It is causing me considerable distress and I dont want to have that stress here as well, nor do I want it to risk disruption the Board. That is my decision please respect it.

If there is a lesson to be learned it is not to let oneself stray into personal areas on public media

Thanks to those who have sent kind PMs - it is a comfort that I have not been completely wasting my time, nor alienating everyone! I wish you all well and success to the Board.

Thank you RR for explaining.

Bye bye Philoz

How on earth do people know who you are on here?.....Not that I want to know to be honest. I think quite a few know who I am because I have kept the same name that I have always had on other boards for over five years.
Like Marion,I've never felt the need to hide behind my identity. Sometimes, I admit, I have bit the bullet, and put my two penneth in and slightly offended someone, but never intentionally. A spade is a spade, and sometimes it has to be said.
Gosh, I went to bed early and missed all that was posted, therefore have no idea what went on, nor am I interested.
As for RR leaving the board, shame, was it that bad?.
I so hope this board will not end up being so boring and politically correct, that one is scared to have an opinion.

Dear FF, RR, Philoz and anyone else reading this.
I don't do boring! Can't stand it, but equally I believe it is not good to get kicks and make things exciting by being rude, thoughtless and insulting. Just for the record, the following is a copy of some of the rules of the forum. I think it says it all really.
I have been insulted by some of the people who feel they should not BE insulted, but I ignore it, but if they do it to anyone else then as a Mod I take action - as do the other mods.
One does not have to read all the postings nor respond, and of course one may report anyone that is abusive, AND of course one may pm or e mail to sort out any misunderstandings without airing it in public.
Controversial subjects are well worth discussing without causing harm to those in the discussion. And there are enough caring, intelligent, thoughtful people here who do just that. My Mum always used to tell me to think before I speak, so maybe we should all think before we post! It is love that makes the world go round, and I hope that the KibKom world can revolve using the same tool. So, here is the reminder: (not too difficult really)(and I hope everyone has a nice day.


Be Polite
Rudeness will not be tolerated. You may challenge others' points of view and
opinions, but do so respectfully and thoughtfully without insult and personal
attack. Any member being intentionally unpleasant or disruptive will be
banned without warning.
Respect The Forum Moderators
Kibkom Forum Moderators have the final say. They do not need to explain
their actions.
Freedom of Speech
We respect every member's right to post their opinions on all issues providing
they do not cause legal issues with regards to ongoing court cases and
government laws, Worldwide.
Defamatory, Wrong or Misleading Posts
By joining The Kibkom Forum, you agree not to post any defamatory, wrong
or misleading information about any person or any company. Members doing
so may be subject to legal action taken up against them. Your post, member
details and your IP address along with the time of your postings will be used
as evidence.

I missed it all but think its good to have healthy debate and be able to agree or disagree. However when it gets personal then I definitely don't think this is the place. What I do love about this forum is any nastiness or anything likely to offend is stopped. But what I also like is the banter which on some posts people have taken as something else, we tend to forget that while I am relatively unshockable others a not.

I think a good dose of common sense is needed and sometimes we all need to keep quiet

Paula

You have hit the KibKom nail on the head , Paula. thanks. and Amen. I reckon that even if Christians can't obey the first commandment, they can the second 'Love your neighbour as yourself' and if one is not a Christian then the lovely lady from The Water Babies is the one to emulate, - Mrs Do-as-you-would-be-done-by.

Philoz wrote:I am seriously thinking of bailing out the forum.

I think it is becoming overly moderated.

Posts are being closed ad hoc because they don't fit in with a particular mods personal opinions.

Just let it flow guys, and when it gets abusive and a bit distasteful by all means shut it down.

I was on a post earlier that was going to be a potential hoot-but it got shut down-WHY??

Please don't get all 1984 on us regular posters.

I realise a little bit of power does go to some peoples heads.

If the mods just want it to be non controversial-then why run a forum in the first place?-I put a thread earlier about bonfires which resulted in (as far as I can work out) two posters getting barred.
Whats that all about?
Just chill out please.

I have to say that I agree with these sentiments, I am going to keep an eye on things but if it carries on as it is now with certain mods treating people like children and stifling comment or debate then I won't bother logging in.

I have been told upfront by a member that they have a mission to stir things up to make this forum more lively. However, I do not need this on Kibkom, I am very happy with the way it has been moving forward. We all have our opinions and can put them forward, but when it comes to joking around, some may get offended, as we perceive things in different ways, all I can say is think before you post.
My moderators work together and make decisions together, they are not trigger happy nor are they power crazy; infact, they are decent and respectable people of whom I have met, and I am extremely previledged that I have them helping me make this forum a success.

gee thanks. now I will work even harder to make this a happy place. and because you say such nice things, what do you want for ???

Well, I for one am very sorry that RR has chosen to stop posting. I cannot believe that such an innocent topic could lead to all that!

I think it is a loss and am angry that she felt she had no option but to take that course of action.

If this Forum made her feel threatened and vulnerable what else could she do, not everyone is like me who has a skin just slighter thinner than a hippopotamus.

Here's hoping that she will reconsider.

I personally think this forum is well moderated. People do disagree with each other sometimes but articulate it (usually), in an amicable and friendly way. The Mods must be doing something right as on browsing other sites, they are nowhere near as busy as this forum, surely that is proof that Soner is getting it right.

I think the moderators are doing extremely well and will achieve and maintain their aim but I wish the posts of those who sink to snide remarks have them removed and not the thread being locked. I have decided that I do not have the intellect or will to debate with people who believe that those who have a necessity for a 4 x 4 should all have small unsuitable vehicles nor that a stringent UK MOT is a like comparison with a TRNC MOT. Some who are fortunate enough to enjoy fully their lifestyle here abuse some of those who for various reasons such as age, poor health, financial, legal, and housing problems etc express their concerns. They have been dubbed moaners, invited to leave the Island, and their views described as nonsense. More understanding, empathy, and goodwill rather than "I am all right Jack" is required.

If I am permitted to post on this forum I will revert to flippancy, and lightweight banter, as before, and try to avoid any subject matter which will be ambushed by the selfish and/or bad tempered.

I applaud the work Soner and all the Mods have done to make this a friendly site. It is a joy to participate on or just to browse read and compile facts and data. We do NOT need snidey remarks, nastiness and people trying to stir things up. Why for heaven sakes do we need stirring up and nastiness - there is too much of this in the big wide world and it is not needed or required on KibKom. Constructive advice and support is what is needed instead.

Thumbs up for Soner & Mods who make this an enjoyable site. It is not like some of the others I have visited, been so shocked at what's been posted & decided to avoid them like the plague.

Also big support for Rose and hope she changes her mind & returns to her Kibkom family soon.

Again my thanks for the PMs and support. I will reply individually in due course , but for the next couple of days I am concentrating on enjoying this lovely weather, and hoping nothing else will spoil the big 70 on Wed! (see how easy it is to drop personal information!) so be patient with me. Then I think I need to turn my attention to sorting out some personal problems without being so easily distracted by some of the fascinating posts here.

I have been a fighter all my life, but I am now a little tired - and there is such a thing as strategic withdrawal and regrouping. Meanwhile I am staying logged on for PMs and informatory posts (the "what is the phone number" type of thing)

Marion and I have had several arguments (I mean discusions) on and off Board about revealing ones identity , but we manage to do it without scratching each others eyes our tearing hair out, and she respects my decision even if she does not agree with it. It is partly a matter of personality (journalists are not known for shyness - help where is the smiley for friendly joke!) and partly personal circumstances and if one reveals the reason for vulnerabiltiy it defeats the whole excercise! Apart from criminals who can read Boards without being members, most of us have suffciently satisfactory and balanced lives not to be too unhealthily curious about others' identities, but sadly there is the exception who has nothing better to do than collect and use malignantly hints from different posts.

Be good girls, and boys, forget this and get on with the posts, and dont tease the mods too much: I havent always agreed with them but they have a very hard job, and this is a new venture and it takes time to strike the right balalnce.

Be good girls, and boys, forget this and get on with the posts, and dont tease the mods too much: I havent always agreed with them but they have a very hard job, and this is a new venture and it takes time to strike the right balalnce.

Will try my hardest honest I will

Best wishes Rose and keep smiling

The sun is shining again today and thats a good reason to smile

Rose-happy 70th -are you having a party?
Soner- msg 9,I assume is was I that you were referring to.
I never said anything about 'stirring' anything up,which has a slightly aggressive tone.
I agree I said that I would try to make posts a little lively-two very different meanings I think and maybe lost in translation.

When a thread is becoming a little stale, perphaps it has run its course. Therefore is there a need to place a comment to make the thread a little "lively"?

Unfortunately not everyone has the same sense of humour and at times posting something for the sake of a reaction can be seen as provocative to others. The written word unlike a face to face discussion does not allow us to pick up on the body language or expressions and if not used correctly can easily offend.

If we believe things could offend or upset then the decision to lock, delete or issue a polite warning will be given. Its just about making people feel happy to post whatever the subject.

Thanks Poshindevon. just what i would said, but with the addition of I guess a lot depends on your understanding of the word 'lively'. LPersonally I sometimes like the peace and quiet and gentleness of non-liveliness. And sometimes the word itself can mean that it is something too challenging for many. But more importantly, you are correct - if a thread has run its course, it does not need CPR.

I'm gobsmacked that the word lively can be something too challenging for many.

Mel7348 wrote:...I'm gobsmacked that the word lively can be something too challenging for many...

Did you like that? - Did it express my feelings? - It's called "Non-Verbal "Communication"

Oh B@gger! I just ruined it

It is sometime appropriate to allow a thread to organically grow.
Does not matter that it drifts away from the original topic as long as it remains within the normal rules of the forum.
This is a very subjective area and mods have to be sensible and realistic in allowing this growth becoming a test of a good forum.

We Mods just stick to Soner's rules, and if in doubt refer back to him. Best we canoffer, and best we can do. As one of the Gilbert and Sullivan songs says we are never paid to think at all!

Nothing against allowing a thread to grow.

However we must be aware that sometimes there are those who would throw in a comment just to provoke a reaction and liven things up.

It very much depends on the comment and how people react to it. A judgement has to be made on where to draw the line - better to nip things in the bud early than let things escalate. Escalation often leads to misunderstanding which then leads to a very small number of people taking over the thread just to force their point of view. Sometimes the words and tone of the message can be upsetting to some. Not all of us have the skin of a rhino!

Its a fine line but a decision has to be made at some stage. At the end of the day there is the option to continue the discussion off forum.