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Film Review of an oldie but goldie

Posted: Thu 04 Oct 2018 11:41 am
by EnjoyingTheSun
Just watched The Great Escape for the 100th time. Every time I watch it there is something new to enjoy.
Warning for the one person on earth that hasn't seen it the review contains spoilers.

The all-star cast is led by Steve McQueen and James Garner who, as there were no Americans who actually took part in the escape, were shoehorned in to get a Hollywood release I assume.
The escape is headed by Dickie Attenborough who is on his last warning that he will be shot if he tries to escape again.
The Germans have come up with the brilliant idea that they will put all the best escapers in one camp.
What could possibly go wrong?

Steve McQueen plays an pilot who appears to have been shot down on his way home from a shopping expedition to The Gap. No dull uniform in khaki or blue for Steve, who looks the epitome of cool in chinos, sweat shirt and a blouson leather jacket accessorised with a baseball glove.

James Garner is at least more traditionally dressed in an air force uniform which considering he appears to be the most clued up and savvy person in the camp, must be method acting.

McQueen tries various escapes and pals up with Scot Angus Lennie, who would go onto greater fame as Shughie McFee in Crossroads. How the cast must never have tired of his “when I starred with Steve McQueen…….” stories.

Donald Pleasance, in a rare goody role, has the small, barely worth mentioning, slight drawback in a forger of being blind. James Garner the shrewdest man in the camp somehow decides he will make a great navigator for when he steals a plane.
“Donald where the hell are we.”
“Possibly over Geneva or Berlin I can’t make it out. Why didn’t we just jump on the train?”
“Because one, that is how all the British character actors are escaping and two the picture in the passport you knocked up for me looks like Sidney Poitier you blind b@#%$rd.”

Another famous British actor with a key role was Gordon Jackson. Gordon’s main job was teaching the inmates to pass as Germans. Gordon was very good at speaking German to the inmates but generally slipped into English when actually speaking to Gestapo officers and the like.

Charles Bronson’s job of digging the tunnel wasn’t the best project management by Dickie Attenborough. Like the blind forger, he also had a slight, tiny drawback of being claustrophobic.
Nevertheless despite the morale booster of the man who actually dug the tunnel tearing past them screaming “it’s going to collapse, it’s going to collapse,” 63 brave it and escape.

The simplest thing at this point would have been for the Germans to check out the blurry documents of anyone wearing a khaki three piece suit but in the interests of being sporting they don’t. They also know they will win on a shoot out anyhow.

Only three actually make it, the claustrophobic tunneller and his pal and the master linguist James Coburn. He cleverly avoided Gordon Jackson’s German lessons and relied on speaking English with an Australian accent that made Dick Van Dyke’s cockney accent in Mary Poppins sound like Bob Hoskins.

Highly recommended

Re: Film Review of an oldie but goldie

Posted: Fri 05 Oct 2018 11:16 am
by Kanonier
Brilliant!

Re: Film Review of an oldie but goldie

Posted: Sun 07 Oct 2018 8:16 am
by erol
Can we put in requests for an 'ETS film review' ? How about Escape to Victory ?

Re: Film Review of an oldie but goldie

Posted: Tue 09 Oct 2018 12:28 pm
by EnjoyingTheSun
erol wrote:Can we put in requests for an 'ETS film review' ? How about Escape to Victory ?
Just for Erol.

Generally feature films on the greatest game are notoriously poor. One that does get critical acclaim is the early seventies film The Goalkeeper’s Fear of the Penalty. Made in Germany, the film was an existentialist feature where the central character fails to save an easy penalty for no apparent reason. He then goes on to commit a senseless murder. Football as a metaphor for life or life as a metaphor for football was the theme. I think unless you are particularly pretentious you’ll probably find Escape to Victory a little more accessible.

Escape To Victory manages to combine The Great Escape with football. It is an enjoyable bit a drivel with the most ludicrous plot of any war film. I would say it is a film strictly for men or women who wear comfortable shoes and enjoy walking holidays.

The cast is led by Michael Caine who after much research decided to play the manager/captain as a cockney.
Max Von Syndow plays the good German as generally it is left to English actors to play evil Germans.
In the hope of somehow selling the film to America Sylvester Stallone is also cast as the only man keen to escape. Considering Americans view football as a game for girls, Diane Keaton would have probably been a better choice but Stallone must have been keen to move away from the Rocky films.
The theme music by Bill Conti is great and it is directed by the 75 year old John Huston of The Maltese Falcon and African Queen fame.
Huston can only have been suffering from the onset of dementia or seriously drunk when agreeing to direct.

Most of the team is actually filled with footballers such as Bobby Moore, Kazimierz Deyna, Ossie Ardiles and Pele and various Ipswich players.
Shoehorning Ardiles and Pele into a prisoner of war camp in the European theatre of war is handled with aplomb. Pele is now Trinidadian.
No, I didn’t know either.

Obviously the footballers can’t act which means they are comfortable in scenes with Caine and Stallone.

Moving onto the plot; Max suggests a game by the German national side against the cream of the Allied prisoners and for propaganda purposes this is held in France.
Stallone escapes, borrowing Steve McQueen’s Gap wardrobe from The Great Escape, but is convinced to allow himself to be recaptured to pass on the plan to liberate the football team.

As to the game.
Germany go 1-0 up when Stallone came for a cross which was around five and a half feet high so sailed over his head. Stallone’s height told again with the third goal from the penalty spot. Germany, normally so efficient from penalties hit the penalty straight at Stallone who manages to starfish dive and completely miss the ball. Germany add a fourth from another Stallone mistake.

The match turns into a bit of a kicking match and Pele is carried off. Unfortunate because Pele is the only footballer the potential American audience have heard of.
Although 4-0 down the allies decide to play with ten men. Stallone also gets concussed which gives him the opportunity to do his hit on the head acting which is a key part of his repertoire. Bobby Moore gets a goal back to make it 4-1 at half time.

In the dressing room at half time the people tasked with helping the team escape tunnel in via the team bath. Stallone is talked out of escaping by the team determined to win the game. Even Bobby Moore who spent the last eleven years of his career losing consistently at West Ham and Fulham decided it was worth a shot.

Early in the second half Ossie Ardiles pulls a goal back after dribbling around the whole German team, no doubt confused as to why an Argentinian who, at a stretch could pass as a neutral Spaniard, ended up in a German prisoner of war camp.
Stallone is improving in goal after deciding that using his hands isn’t as effective as diving feet first at the ball. He does make the odd catch as long as the ball is within 4 inches of his body.

After another great run from Ardiles, the allies pull another goal back through the ex-Man City player Mike Summerbee.
With five minutes remaining, an England equaliser is disallowed by the corrupt officials.
Pele at this point decides that despite several broken ribs he will re-join the action. Luckily the Allies had not substituted him deciding that eight men, a portly Michael Caine and a dwarf in goal would be enough to carry on playing the might of the Germans.

Pele equalises with a spectacular overhead kick, filmed in one take according to legend. Good German, Max Von Syndow stands to applaud Pele which is as popular as a fart in a U-Boat with his fellow German officers.
Pele’s goal inspires the French crowd to start cheering the Allies. This again toys with historical reality. One, French people never cheer any team that contains an Englishman and two, generally the French Resistance consisted of serving up coq au vin to German officers with a slightly inferior red wine sauce.

At 4-4, the director had a problem. Pele’s goal should be rights have been the money shot ending the game but Stallone obviously had script approval.
According to legend Sly had demanded that he score the winning goal but it was pointed out that is one, quite unbelievable for a goalkeeper to score and two, totally unbelievable for the scorer to be someone who cant kick a ball. Another problem was his stunt double was by now filming a new series of The Two Ronnies with Ronnie Barker.

The problem was solved by giving the Germans another penalty. Stallone now pulls out his full acting armoury, before the kick is taken he walks up and stares down the penalty taker a la Rocky. The penalty taker rises from his knees and takes the worst penalty you’ll ever see a German take. Stallone saves it diving full length which isn’t easy given the penalty was placed about four inches to his left.

Stallone is chaired by his teammates and the French supporters invade the pitch. They are generally wearing shirts and Farah slacks as the budget didn’t stretch to authentically outfitting the extras.
The pitch invasion enables the team to escape in the chaos, Michael Caine disguised in a wonderfully jaunty beret.


Highly recommended for all men and lady golfers.

Re: Film Review of an oldie but goldie

Posted: Tue 09 Oct 2018 12:54 pm
by erol
Another (imo) quality review. Thanks ETS, I found your review a very enjoyable read. Some of you, as I have had the pleasure, may have come across Laurie Sivell in North Cyprus, who was a former professional goalie for Ipswich and who played the German goalkeeper in the movie. Thoroughly nice guy.

ETS you just leave me wanting more. So sticking to the general theme of incarceration and football how about 'Mean Machine' next, both the Burt Reynolds original and the Vinne Jones remake ?

Re: Film Review of an oldie but goldie

Posted: Tue 09 Oct 2018 1:17 pm
by EnjoyingTheSun
erol wrote:Another (imo) quality review. Thanks ETS, I found your review a very enjoyable read. Some of you, as I have had the pleasure, may have come across Laurie Sivell in North Cyprus, who was a former professional goalie for Ipswich and who played the German goalkeeper in the movie. Thoroughly nice guy.

ETS you just leave me wanting more. So sticking to the general theme of incarceration and football how about 'Mean Machine' next, both the Burt Reynolds original and the Vinne Jones remake ?
I remember Laurie as a player, good solid keeper. I remember him as quite short for a keeper even back in those days, probably 5'8 max. Insert your own Stallone joke here, I'm out.

Laurie was a bit overlooked because that was in the days when England had great keepers who didn't get within a country mile of an England cap. Back in the early seventies you had the likes of Jim Montgomery, John Jackson, Phil Parkes, Kevin Keelan, Bryan King and John Burridge in the Second Division any of whom would be in contention for an England cap these days.

Not seen the Vinnie Jones version, but the Burt Reynolds Mean Machine just doesn't hit the so bad it's brilliant criteria.

I think a thread on movie cliches might be a worthy addition.

For example when knocking out a German guard how is it they always ensure the stolen uniform is a perfect fit?
I cant get trousers to fit my expanding waist and shrinking inside leg measurement even though they swear blind on the label they should fit.

Re: Film Review of an oldie but goldie

Posted: Tue 09 Oct 2018 1:32 pm
by erol
EnjoyingTheSun wrote:Not seen the Vinnie Jones version, but the Burt Reynolds Mean Machine just doesn't hit the so bad it's brilliant criteria.
Well I think you need to see the Vinnie Jones version. I am sticking on a mem stick for you as I type this, then you can decide if it warrants the ETS review treatment or not.
EnjoyingTheSun wrote:I think a thread on movie cliches might be a worthy addition.
Like the horror movie cliche , in a remote hut in middle of scary forest, hear strange noises outside and instead of checking all the doors and windows are locked and secure you decide you best have a look outside to see what it is ? That kind of thing ?

Re: Film Review of an oldie but goldie

Posted: Tue 09 Oct 2018 2:26 pm
by EnjoyingTheSun
erol wrote: Like the horror movie cliche , in a remote hut in middle of scary forest, hear strange noises outside and instead of checking all the doors and windows are locked and secure you decide you best have a look outside to see what it is ? That kind of thing ?
You've barely scratched the surface Erol.

All our friends have been horribly murdered and its midnight, fancy a skinny dip in the lake in the dark woods?

Death rate of girls is in proportion to how many clothes they take off through the movie. Their life expectancy is slightly longer than the ten seconds a night watchman or security guard lasts, generally just to enable the gratuitous nude scene.

If you jump in a car to escape the psycho the car won't start until he is smashing through the windscreen.

If the family pet doesn't appear after being called twice by it's owner it's a goner.

If in bed and the psycho is hiding under it, he can only pull you off the bed if you dangle a limb over the edge.

The only warning you get about the old house or woods is delivered by the homeless creepy old man who is shunned by the townspeople.

The killer is always masked because;
1) Any serious actor wouldn't be seen dead in the role
2) As you don't have to pay out for a star why not go the whole hog and not have a proper actor at all. After all all they need do is walk slowly and wield an axe.
3) As you intend to make at least a 6 film franchise locking yourself into a face means he might have you over a barrel regarding his fee by the second sequel.

Re: Film Review of an oldie but goldie

Posted: Tue 09 Oct 2018 2:35 pm
by EnjoyingTheSun
erol wrote: So sticking to the general theme of incarceration
I think we need to talk about your latest obsession with men being incarcerated Erol. If you start finding yourself being drawn to films based on musicals I suggest an evening of Spagetti Westerns to get your 'mojo' back!


Re: Film Review of an oldie but goldie

Posted: Tue 09 Oct 2018 5:06 pm
by erol
EnjoyingTheSun wrote: I think we need to talk about your latest obsession with men being incarcerated Erol.
It is a rich genre. Shawshank Redemption - definitely in my personal top 10 movies. Italian Job (kind of) - still a classic (the original that is). Clockwork Orange (kind of) - classic. McVicar - still one the greatest movie lines as far as I am concerned

Guard to roger daltry / mcvicar - "Name and Number"
Roger Daltry to Guard - "You know my name and you gave me my f***ing number"

Scum. I am sure the list goes on and on.

But yeah have to say I love Mama Mia the movie (the first one not 2) as well

Re: Film Review of an oldie but goldie

Posted: Tue 09 Oct 2018 5:42 pm
by Hedge-fund
EnjoyingTheSun wrote:
erol wrote:Another (imo) quality review. Thanks ETS, I found your review a very enjoyable read. Some of you, as I have had the pleasure, may have come across Laurie Sivell in North Cyprus, who was a former professional goalie for Ipswich and who played the German goalkeeper in the movie. Thoroughly nice guy.

ETS you just leave me wanting more. So sticking to the general theme of incarceration and football how about 'Mean Machine' next, both the Burt Reynolds original and the Vinne Jones remake ?
I remember Laurie as a player, good solid keeper. I remember him as quite short for a keeper even back in those days, probably 5'8 max. Insert your own Stallone joke here, I'm out.

Laurie was a bit overlooked because that was in the days when England had great keepers who didn't get within a country mile of an England cap. Back in the early seventies you had the likes of Jim Montgomery, John Jackson, Phil Parkes, Kevin Keelan, Bryan King and John Burridge in the Second Division any of whom would be in contention for an England cap these days.

Not seen the Vinnie Jones version, but the Burt Reynolds Mean Machine just doesn't hit the so bad it's brilliant criteria.

I think a thread on movie cliches might be a worthy addition.

For example when knocking out a German guard how is it they always ensure the stolen uniform is a perfect fit?
I cant get trousers to fit my expanding waist and shrinking inside leg measurement even though they swear blind on the label they should fit.
Stallone only got a game because the Millwall player had his arm broken.

Talk about unsung hero - didn't even make the review!

Re: Film Review of an oldie but goldie

Posted: Wed 10 Oct 2018 8:36 am
by EnjoyingTheSun
Hedge-fund wrote:
Stallone only got a game because the Millwall player had his arm broken.

Talk about unsung hero - didn't even make the review!
Kevin O'Callaghan. Ex-Millwall was Ipswich by then. A left winger who was somehow the goalkeeper?

Re: Film Review of an oldie but goldie

Posted: Wed 10 Oct 2018 9:39 am
by lee666
Shawshank Redemption is a favourite of mine, love the music score to it as well.

Another favourite of mine is Some like it Hot with Jack Lemmon & Tony Curtis, utter classic.

More modern one then Gladiator for me and once again the music in it was incredible.

Re: Film Review of an oldie but goldie

Posted: Wed 10 Oct 2018 11:05 am
by EnjoyingTheSun
lee666 wrote:Shawshank Redemption is a favourite of mine, love the music score to it as well.

Another favourite of mine is Some like it Hot with Jack Lemmon & Tony Curtis, utter classic.

More modern one then Gladiator for me and once again the music in it was incredible.
Shawshank Redemption has got to be in the top ten of all time films. Interestingly it pretty much bombed at the box office, it got an audience through word of mouth. Forrest Gump earned $300 million at the box office and Shawshank picked up $16 million. Also didn't pick up a solitary Oscar, Forrest Gump won that year.


Some Like it Hot another great film and loved Gladiator which was a throwback to the epics of the fifties and sixties.

Can never work out why with the new CGI etc, why they don't remake some of these old films now they can re-do the clunky special effects.

Surely films like Jason and The Argonaughts, Sinbad, Quo Vades etc are more worthy of a remake than Total Recall, Taking of Pelham 123, Get Carter etc?