little old lady

[thornaby]

Defence Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Little Old Lady: I am 86 years old.

DA: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?

LOL: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front veranda, on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up and sat down beside me.

DA: Did you know him?

LOL: No, but he sure was friendly.

DA: What happened after he sat down?

LOL: He started to rub my thigh.

DA: Did you stop him?

LOL: No, I didn't stop him.

DA: Why not?

LOL: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my husband died some 30 years ago.

DA: What happened next?

LOL: He began to rub my breasts.

DA: Did you stop him then?

LOL: No, I did not stop him.

DA: Why not?

LOL: His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!

DA: What happened next?

LOL: Well, by then, I was feeling really "spicy" that I just lay down and told him
"Take me, young man. Take me!"

DA: Did he take you?

LOL: Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!"... And that's when I shot the little "ooops"!