A Letter to Mr Cameron

[topten]

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed

4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
Crime rate fixed

5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

It can't get any easier than that!

P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.
Also.....

Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home.

This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

Think about this (more points of contention):

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

[stellasstar1]

Funny and sad because it is has such a ring of truth to it. Low level security jails also get weekend passes don't they, or days out.

[surfmeetseast]

Best thing you can do is join your preferred party and make a difference, instead of whinging. Waste of good ideas your post , do something proactive

[topten]

Best thing you can do is join your preferred party and make a difference, instead of whinging. Waste of good ideas your post , do something proactive

Get a life man or woman! and see the funny side of life, if it had been about any other party it would have been ok. or is too close to the truth for a Tory to accept

[Groucho]

May be you should have explained that you'd cribbed your letter from the BNP....

[topten]

May be you should have explained that you's cribbed your letter from the BNP....

WRONG! Facebook

[topten]

May be you should have explained that you's cribbed your letter from the BNP....

And your obviously looking on BNP sites.

[Keithcaley]

...And your obviously looking on BNP sites.

That's a bit of a leap of your imagination tomsteel.

I would think that Groucho Googled the letter contents, and found that it was re-posted in various places - including " http://www.horseandhound.co.uk " come to that!

[Groucho]

I did Google it as it had all the hallmarks of somebody else's work... But having said that I make no excuse for looking at the BNP website - I do think it's quite important to keep an eye on ideologues like the BNP just so you know how mental it's possible for some to get.

[Groucho]

...And your obviously looking on BNP sites.

That's a bit of a leap of your imagination tomsteel.

I would think that Groucho Googled the letter contents, and found that it was re-posted in various places - including " http://www.horseandhound.co.uk " come to that!

Topten is not tomsteel! So that's possibly a bigger leap?

[tomsteel]

Ref msg 8. Where have I commented on this thread for you to state "___ a leap of imagination tomsteel"?

[tomsteel]

Thank you Groucho for pointing out the fact to an obviously misguided soul, could be over-Efes syndrome at work here?

[Keithcaley]

"Thank you Groucho for pointing out the fact to an obviously misguided soul, could be over-Efes syndrome at work here?"

Misguided, yes - but 'over-Efes syndrome' at breakfast time on a Sunday morning? Heaven forfend!

Apologies for the incorrect attribution

[surfmeetseast]

Wow, haha, fyi I live here, I don't vote, I am Buddhist and I surf, and I am female. What else would I need? Your preconceptions are very funny, only reason I read you threads I did see the humour in your posts but it surprised me because you often come across as negative.
Hope you are enjoying life back in UK, do not envy you at all

[surfmeetseast]

Well you cruel man Keith, poor TomSteel! And don't you know that most of us Expats spend all f our days from 10 till 6 drinking in Brit watering holes ? Oh no emoticons, just take with a pinch of raki