Premier League Football

[Butterflyaway]

If you are not interested, may I respectfully ask that you do not read or contribute.

Enough said, let's start!

[Butterflyaway]

Manchester United: First home game - Another disgraceful performance and no points. He he.

Chelsea: First away game - Another superb performance and three points and top of the Premiership. Come on you Blues.

Now the bet. I will buy you Manure supporters two beers if you finish above us. When we finish above you, you only have to buy me one beer. Can't be fairer than that.

Also, if you get further than us in the Champions League this year. Oops, sorry, you are not in it this year.

Also, if you comment on your past glories, they will be ignored.

[loopylou1]

What a fantastic start to the season. Didn't see the game but listened to the commentary on radio 5 live. Great comments from Mark lawrenson.

Am really excited about our prospects this season.

So, all together now, Blue is the colour, football is the game...........

Come on Chelsea!!!

Sandra x

[Owl Lady]

I love Mark Lawrenson, when he played for Liverpool, we used the same physio, who was their consultant physio. I was in the waiting room one day and Mark hobbled out on crutches and said "I wouldn't go and see him, I was OK when I came in!". He did make me laugh, I met him a few times there after that.

[eyebob94]

Seems there`s only Chelski supporters on here, oh, yeah, you did beat Burnley; lets here it for the Reds, 2nd in the league last season, watch us go this season,YNWA

[bigg1970]

May I remind all the chelsea fans you are joint top of the league and you are only top because C comes before M ....I love the fact that the media and pundits are playing down city's chances this year even though we to have strengthened and won the league last year.....but I will take that as pressure is on other teams..........CTID.......

[Butterflyaway]

Now two points clear at the top

I know you Man City supporter still have to play, but you will need to win by 3 clear goals to go top.

By the way, do you want to buy Torres?

[bigg1970]

Now two points clear at the top

I know you Man City supporter still have to play, but you will need to win by 3 clear goals to go top.

By the way, do you want to buy Torres?

I would have had torres 5 years ago, what has happend to his form? I cannot see us beating liverpool by 3 goals....

[loopylou1]

Graeme, I cant see you beating liverpool by 3 either. Personally, I hope it's a draw!!!

Sandra x

[Spud50]

For all the supporters who follow teams other than those mentioned above - good luck this season except when you play against the 'Toon'.

[Butterflyaway]

Spuds, you sure you are not a secret Spurs supporter?

Anyway, they did well today. Just above CFC.

Nice to see three London teams in the top four.

Come on, this must have wound up those not from London.

I know there is no point discussing Manure today, but there must be some proud Stadium of Light supporters. Even though your manager learnt everything whilst he was with the TOP TWO teams!

[Butterflyaway]

Great start to MNF.

I think on Man C's performance they will be very hard to beat.

It is good that Ballotelli will be playing for LFC, plenty of tantrums and a few red cards to follow.

He looked freezing yesterday evening. And it is still August. He does look miserable and very aggressive, but you cannot help your face.

[AFC]

Comedy Central have just secured the rights to show all of Manchester United's football matches
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Police investigating Operation Yewtree are interested in a group of men from Milton Keynes, after allegations they fucked eleven kids from Manchester
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Louis Van Gaal wanted to implement his master tactics and make United comeback in their game against MK Dons.

Unfortunately, substituting the keeper when you're 4-0 down doesn't work.
---------------------------------------------

it has been announced that sir Alex Ferguson is officially the only man who can polish a turd

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Mass breakout from a travelling circus in Oxford, sees an elephant recovered in Aylesbury, two lions caught in Leighton Buzzard, and eleven clowns spotted in Milton Keynes

[Butterflyaway]

Four football fans were climbing a mountain one day. Each was a fan of a different team in the premiership and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans of their football team. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top.


The Arsenal fan hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Gooners!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Newcastle fan threw himself off the mountain, proclaiming "This is for the Magpies!" Seeing this, the Liverpool fan walked over and shouted "This is for the true Reds and everyone!" and pushed the Man United fan off the side of the mountain.






There is a old Liverpool fan who is dying so he calls his Liverpool friends and asks them to do one last thing for him. They say 'yes of course' so he asks for a man u shirt. His friends thinks that that's a little bit weird because he has been the biggest LFC fan his whole life.


But because he is dying they accept and get him a shirt. After the old man put on the man u shirt, one of his friends asks him why he changes team right before he dies, he says 'better one of them dying then one of us'.











A man goes into a pub with an alligator under his arm.


"Do you serve ManU fan in here?" he asks.


"Certainly Sir, no problem at all," replies the barman, nervously staring at the alligator.


"Okay," says the man, "a pint of lager for me and an ManU fan for the alligator."











Three old football fans are in a church, praying for their teams. The first one asks, "Oh Lord, when will Arsenal next win the Champions League?". God Replies, "In the next five years"


"But I'll be dead by then", says the man.


The second one asks, "Oh Lord, when will Tottenham next win the Champions League?".


I'll The Good Lord answers, "In the next ten years".


"But I'll be dead by then", says the man.


The third one asks, "Oh Lord, when will Man. U. win the Champions League?". God Answers, "I will be dead by then!"











A Man.U fan and a Manchester City fan were sentenced to death by firing squad.


The officer in charge asked the Manchester City fan if he had a last request.


'Yes' replied the City Fan, 'I'm a keen City Supporter, and I videoed the last game Manchester City played. Could I watch the video before I die?'


'No Problem', replied the officer, 'I'll get the men to rig up a large screen, and you can watch it from here'.


Then turning to the Man U. Fan, he asked 'And what about you, do you have a last request?'


'Yes', he replied, 'Shoot me first'.

[Butterflyaway]

Liverpool fan, an Arsenal fan and a Man Utd. were all in Saudi Arabia,sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.


By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi National Holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It is my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."


The Arsenal fan was first in line (he had consumed the least), so he thought about it for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back."


This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through it. The Arsenal fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying when the punishment was done.


The Man Utd. fan was next up (he almost finished a half-keg), and after watching the scene, said: "Choice! Please fix two pillows on my back."


But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again.


The Liverpool fan was the last one up (he had finished off the keg), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of England, your city has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"


"Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", the Liverpool fan replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."


"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asked.


"Tie that Manchester United fan to my back!

[Owl Lady]

Butterflyaway, loved the Liverpool v Man U jokes, being a Scoucer in exile. I support Liverpool in every game except a local derby, being a closet Evertonian! I am not biased, I don't care who beats Man U!!!
Crash hat at the ready!

[cjtill]

The Manchester river police found a male body floating in the ship canal this morning, and when retrieved they discovered he was wearing a blond wig, high heels and suspenders, and a Manchester United replica football shirt.
When informed, the wife requested that details regarding the shirt should not be made public, thus sparing the family any embarrasment.

[Owl Lady]

[Butterflyaway]

Can things really get any better?

Man U not scoring again and only getting a 0 - 0 draw against a newly promoted team. Di Maria who?

Stoke beating Man City.

Then, the best result, Everton 3 Chelsea 6. Deigo Costa who? ha ha.

I will double my original bet, if any Man U supporters have not changed teams!

[turtle]

Not be long now,... Europe close to declaring war on the pesky ruskies so Mr abramabagsofcash will be thrown out of the country and the bubble bursts and cash dries up and the plastic club plummet down the table with manure.

Sheer bliss

[Butterflyaway]

I will offer you Turtle the same four to one bet on your prediction about Lord Abramovich being thrown out of the country before next years Champions League Final.

I may be wrong, but are you a childhood supporter of a team that has never had a stinking rich foreign owner, and is your team still in the lower divisions?

No offence, well a little maybe.

[Owl Lady]

Butterflyaway, that was cruel, you could just have said Everton got beaten!!!!!

[turtle]

No offence taken Butterfly
I hear on the news this morning that Russia have 1 week to comply or major sanctions will be in play and that includes the likes of the Chelsea band wagon.

You are correct about my club and that is exactly how I want it to stay ....I hate the premiership with a passion...... its false and completely manufactured to pander to the false fans that follow it
Even the entrance of players and officials before a game resembles an American "Ball" game now and the constant dissecting of the game by so called pundits get on my wick

But good luck in your quest for fame and fortune

[Butterflyaway]

Turtle,

I do agree with your observations, but the football in the Premiership is usually the best there is, apart from a bit of diving and the odd diva behaviour.

As a neutral, you must be if your team is not in the Premiership, (unless you are Welsh), do you watch the Champions League?

[Butterflyaway]

It has just got a LOT LOT better.

[Butterflyaway]

http://twitter.com/Liddellpool/status/5 ... 49/photo/1

Manchester United did not win at Leicester after being 1 - 3 up!

No, they did not draw 3 - 3

No, they did not lose 4 - 3.

YES, they lost 5 - 3.

[Steve C]

questions and answers:-

Q: Was Frank Lampard kicked out of Chelsea?

A: He was not offered a new contract- That in my reckoning is being kicked out.

Q: Are Manchester United any better post Moyes and £150,000,000 spent?

A: NO.

Q: Does putting a captains armband on a players arm and having him growling like a pit bull inspire the team?

A: No, it actually has the reverse effect.

lol

[Groucho]

http://twitter.com/Liddellpool/status/5 ... 49/photo/1

Manchester United did not win at Leicester after being 1 - 3 up!

No, they did not draw 3 - 3

No, they did not lose 4 - 3.

YES, they lost 5 - 3.

It seems you are more interested in Man U and other teams doing badly than you are in your own team.... Just an observation.

[Steve C]

What have Richard the third and Manchester United got in common???

URGENY POLICE WARNING
Trafford CID has issued a warning to visitors to the borough where there have been reports of counterfeit goods circulating over the last few days in particular.


Members of the public are advised to be on the look out for a false dawn.