Beach Bummer

deputydawg · Post by **deputydawg** » Mon 16 Jul 2012 12:58 pm

The Wildebeest (bless her) decided that my reward for weeks of gardening in the heat should be a trip to the beach ! I protested and was told to go and get ready. When I returned from the bathroom Wilde said "Wot 'ave you dun now you silly old fart, you stink of peppermint" I sneaked back into the bathroom and found an almost new tube of sun tan lotion in a tumbler with my toothbrush and in the cupboard below the sink (where the lotion should have been) a virtually empty tube of toothpaste. I fried on the beach and poached in the sea. When I changed from swimming trunks to shorts (blindly under a towel) at the tailgate of the car I contrived an agonising drive home where I discovered I had threaded two skinny legs through one leg hole of the shorts. Day out "sorted" then as my teeth did not burn !

Lor51 · Post by **Lor51** » Mon 16 Jul 2012 3:36 pm

hilarious

Deniz1 · Post by **Deniz1** » Mon 16 Jul 2012 3:38 pm

deputydawg · Post by **deputydawg** » Mon 16 Jul 2012 5:35 pm

On the journey home Wilde wanted to know how I could manage to drive so erraticly in an easy to drive automatic car. I offered the excuse that there must be a mechanical problem and that I thought "me big end has gone" !

woodspeckie · Post by **woodspeckie** » Mon 16 Jul 2012 7:17 pm

Knew I was in for a laugh when I opened the thread, ta for cheering me up.

Keithcaley · Post by **Keithcaley** » Mon 16 Jul 2012 8:10 pm

.
Barkin' E is...

Totally, bleedin', barkin', MAD
.

JeanW · Post by **JeanW** » Mon 16 Jul 2012 8:12 pm

Brian - just to let you know you haven't "lost your touch" (as it were); you've had me laughing out loud (again).

Hope you and yours are well.
J
x

Keithcaley · Post by **Keithcaley** » Mon 16 Jul 2012 8:14 pm

Jeannie,

Don't encourage him!

JeanW · Post by **JeanW** » Mon 16 Jul 2012 8:20 pm

Keith - I feel he needs little in the way of encouragement - don't you??

BLUE BUTTERFLY · Post by **BLUE BUTTERFLY** » Mon 16 Jul 2012 10:50 pm

Eeh, you can't take him anywhere.

Keithcaley · Post by **Keithcaley** » Tue 17 Jul 2012 6:34 am

Jeannie,

Encouragement? - Stopping him would be the trick !

DAVPAT · Post by **DAVPAT** » Tue 17 Jul 2012 8:15 am

DD,Ever thought of writing a book,you have natural way with prose!

Nice one

David

Mel7348 · Post by **Mel7348** » Tue 17 Jul 2012 9:14 am

DD- you outshine the sun here and long may you do so. Mega talent keeping us all entertained, thanks a million.

deputydawg · Post by **deputydawg** » Tue 17 Jul 2012 9:32 am

Davpat. Some other oik beat me to it. The two smallest publications in the world, "The Irish Book of Knowledge" and "The Australian Book of Culture". By the way, does anyone know whether or not "After Sun Cream" comes in a blue, plastic container ? I am scared by the bathroom now as there is cream for "piles" in there somewhere !

Keithcaley · Post by **Keithcaley** » Tue 17 Jul 2012 10:33 am

deputydawg wrote:...I am scared by the bathroom now as there is cream for "piles" in there somewhere !

Just don't put it on anything that you would rather didn't shrink

elizabeth · Post by **elizabeth** » Tue 17 Jul 2012 4:15 pm

Keithcaley wrote:
deputydawg wrote:...I am scared by the bathroom now as there is cream for "piles" in there somewhere !
Just don't put it on anything that you would rather didn't shrink

DAVPAT · Post by **DAVPAT** » Wed 18 Jul 2012 9:31 am

deputydawg wrote:Davpat. Some other oik beat me to it. The two smallest publications in the world, "The Irish Book of Knowledge" and "The Australian Book of Culture". By the way, does anyone know whether or not "After Sun Cream" comes in a blue, plastic container ? I am scared by the bathroom now as there is cream for "piles" in there somewhere !

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